I Am Not Dead (Well, I THINK That I Am Not Dead, But I Could Always Be Wrong)

Hi.
So I'm here after an era of a hiatus to bring you *cue heavenly chorus* a whiny writer identity crisis post.
Yeah, sorry.
For some reason, I decided to paste a portion of my manuscript into the I Write Like analyzer. And it spat out this:

I tried it again, this time with a different portion of text, and it still insisted:



I then copied my ENTIRE MANUSCRIPT into the box and punched "Analyze".
Three guesses as to what it told me.
By this point, I was pretty offended. It's been a long time since I've read any of the Twilights, but one thing I remember noticing about SM's style is that she layers on her adverbs. I've lost track of how many articles I've read that warned me not to overuse my adverbs, so I'm pretty conscientious about where I put my ly's.
So I started researching critiques of her style. I found a forum that raised some interesting points, and a tumblr blog that is both hilarious and intimidating.
Some of the main problems people have with SM's writing is her Mary Sue of a main character, the unhealthy romance, her slow pacing and anti-climaxes, her repetitious prose, and her overall lack of taking the writing craft seriously.

Well.
The character development and story issues don't really have anything to do with me. I'm not saying that my crap is perfect (or that it's better than Twlight--that's an opinion that I'm going to stay away from) but the Analyzer was judging my style, not my story.
Even though I'm writing the second draft of my novel, it's still a rough draft. I think it's even rougher than my first draft. Seriously, this thing is UG-LAY. It needs major cosmetic reconstructions. So maybe I am making some Meyer-esque mistakes. Maybe I'm over describing stuff. Maybe I'm using a bit too many m-dashes in my hasty typing. Maybe my attempt to dwelve further into my characters' heads and play with their voices has resulted in some language that is crude and simplistic.
Maybe once I [finish and] edit my manuscript, I'll try the analyzer thingy again and I'll get a different answer.
Maybe I really do write like Stephenie Meyer.
Maybe I should just shut up and get back to writing.
Maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe baby.

I still don't know what to think. 

Character Troubles and Abnormal Writing Techniques

So my June word count is still zero, and my novel is still about ten to twenty scenes short. I'm hoping that maybe later tonight or early tomorrow I will finish my plot.
Anyway, I'm going to share with you a part of my process. It's weird, okay? Don't judge. When I'm trying to figure out something, be it a plot twist, a character's life, etc, I like to do it on paper. When I have a question, I don't sit and ponder it. Instead, I write it down on paper and look at it later, and then I'm usually able to have an epiphany and answer it.
My characters for my new novel have been annoying me. They grow silent when I need them the most. So I've taken to yelling at them. Here's what is looks like on paper (literally):
To my first main character, Tara.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, TARA?

EVEN THAN KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS. 

COME ON. 

SPILL. 

WHAT DRIVES YOU EVERYDAY?

IT'S NOT YOUR MOM; SHE'S DEAD, DUH.

CAN'T CRY FOR YOUR MOMMY. 

I KNOW YOU LIKE THAN.

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE THAT PATHETIC. 

YOU HAVE TO WANT SOMETHING ELSE. 

SOMETHING LESS CONCRETE. 

SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER GET. 

TELL ME. 

I COULD KILL YOU, YOU KNOW. 

DON'T MAKE THIS A TRAGEDY. 

TRAGEDIES ARE OVERPLAYED. 

READY TO TALK YET? NO?

OH? YOU WANT PEOPLE TO LIKE YOU FOR YOU?

UH...LET ME SEE...

THIS COULD BE WHAT DRIVES YOU TO STAY IN THE WATER...

UM. OKAY. FINE. WE'LL TRY IT. 

BUT IF IT'S NOT RIGHT, I'LL BE BACK. 

OKAY. 

BE WARNED. 

And that was me trying to figure out character motivation. And here's me trying to figure out how my other main character, Than, handles life.

THAN OWENS, TALK TO ME.
YOU WANT TO LEAVE. OKAY, I GET IT. YOU WANT TO LEAVE ON A BOAT UNDER YOUR NAME. 'KAY. HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT? OH, HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S A FISH. YOU LIKED HER BEFORE SHE WAS A FISH--WHICH YOU'LL NEVER ADMIT--AND YOU KNEW SHE WAS A FISH WHEN YOU STARTED DATING HER. HOW DOES THIS EFFECT YOU? YOU'RE A FISHERMAN, DAMMIT. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH SECRETS? WHAT IF YOU'RE FISHING AND YOU ACCIDENTALLY CATCH A MERROW? NO, NOT A MINNOW. A MERROW. AS IN, YOUR GIRLFRIEND. HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE TO COVER FOR HER BECAUSE SHE'S SUCH A BAD LIAR? HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE TO PICK HER UP LATE AT NIGHT FROM THE BEACH BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T HELP HERSELF? YOU'RE AN ENABLER, DUDE. YOU HAVE WANTS AND DREAMS, TOO. AND PROBLEMS. WHAT ABOUT YOUR HEART? YOU FATHERS HEART? THEY'RE TAKING YOUR MONEY SLOWLY BECAUSE OF THE HOSPITAL BILLS. SURE, YOU'RE HAPPY WHEN YOU'RE WITH TARA, BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE NOT WITH HER? BESIDES, SHE'S CHANGING. ALL SHE CARES ABOUT ANYMORE IS THE SEA. YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER. SO ANYWAY, THIS BOAT YOUR NEIGHBOR GAVE YOU. MAYBE, NOW IF YOU CAN FIX IT QUICKLY, YOU CAN FIX EVERYTHING ELSE. YOUR FATHER. BUT NO MONEY. WHAT KINDS OF THINGS ARE YOU WILLING TO DO FOR MONEY? YOU'RE AN HONEST MAN, SO NOTHING ILLEGAL, OF COURSE. MAYBE TAKE EXTRA SHIFTS, SELL YOUR STUFF...

Okay, so obviously, Than Owens is much harder for me to pinpoint than Tara O'Sullivan. I did figure some information out from doing this, though: a couple of scenes, some of the character's thoughts, reactions.
This probably doesn't make sense to the world completely outside of my head. I probably seem crazy. I'm not. I'm just a writer who is seriously pressed on time and can't get straight answers from her characters. Yeah, I'm kind of harsh on my MCs. Squeezing lemon juice into their wounds...torture shouldn't always be the answer, unless you're in as much of a pickle that I'm in.
NaNoWriMo has begun. Still no progress.

With Every Ending, there is a New Beginning

Firstly: I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day.(:

Secondly: from the title of this post, you might assume that I have just finished something very important. Something huge. Something like a manuscript, maybe.
Well, I'm sad to inform you that

YOU'RE POSITIVELY, ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

On May 27th, 2012, I finished my first draft of a long-worked on novel. And I mean long. The story isn't that big, only slightly more than 78K words, but it took me over three years to complete. I confess that I didn't spend every moment of free time on the novel. There were probably months at a time where I didn't write at all. (This is the only story that I've worked on in the past couple of years, mind you.) However, it's a story that's, in a way, grown up with me and that I've come to love. So I'm both happy and heartbroken to be finished writing it.

I'm happy because, well, I finished a novel!

I'm heartbroken because it's over. Kind of feels like my best friend just died. Well, okay, not died. I still have to revise/rewrite/go crazy in a month or so. So it's more like my best friend has been diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer.

ANYway, good news! I get to start planning my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo!

Unfortunately, with every good news, there is bad news.

Camp starts in, what, two days? All I have so far is an idea, a setting, and my main characters. Oh, and three scenes. Three. What am I going to do with that? Every time I try to ask my characters for help, they grow silent and cross their arms. They have secrets. They're hiding something, and I'm going to find out what it is. I just don't know if I'll figure it out in two days.

So...I'm going to go rent a couple of movies, buy a new book, go to the beach, go on a couple of walks, and maybe coax them into spilling.

I am really excited about this new story, though. It's...refreshing to finally work on something new.

Okay, so I know you don't really care about all I've just said, so I'll get down to the point of this post:

When you finish something, be it writing a novel, graduating from school, running a marathon, or killing your best friend, don't pause and dwell on it. Walk outside, take a breath of sweet, sweet air, and start again. Move on. Life keeps going, so you must keep writing. Or killing. (Serial killers: please don't use me as a reference. I'm not being serious. It's just an over-used metaphor. Please get some help with your blood lust.)

TTFN. (;

The Scene Ends in Death

Hi. This is my first post ever. I've decided to start a blog, if not for you, then for me. I'm a young writer (16) and I'm currently on the verge of finishing my first manuscript. Well, not finishing exactly--there will still be much work it'll require after I type out the end of the story.
The purpose of this blog will be so 1) I can rant and rant and rant and no one can tell me to shut up 2) I'll have another excuse to procrastinate on homework and 3) so I can see my thoughts and what I've learned in an organized format.
I've never taken a creative writing course (though I hope to one day--it sounds fun) so, like many other writers, my sole teachers are the numerous tomes on my bookshelf.

In my manuscript, I had to kill someone. It's a character that I adore and who has made me chuckle on one occasion or another. Wow, that sounds crazy. You get the idea, though, right?
Anyhow, from the moment of this character's creation, I knew IT (for the sake of spoilers for anyone who might ever read this novel, if that ever happens, I will not post any clues as to who this character is and will refer to it as IT) would die at the end.
I think that because IT's death was so predetermined, I've already come to terms with my grief. Because I've already come to terms with my grief, this death scene is totally unremarkable and will not move a potential reader to tears.
I really want a proper tear-jerking, heart-wrenching death to honor this wonderful character.

I think it's time to crack open the saddest books on my shelves and attempt to discover their secrets.

(Is it fitting that Dumbledore just died on my TV in HBP?)

The few books I've grabbed are Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows (J K Rowling), Forever (M. Stiefvater), Beautiful Creatures (K. Garcia M. Stohl) and My Sister's Keeper (Jodi Picoult)

(**SPOILER WARNING**) If you haven't read these books and don't understand what I'm talking about, either a) keep scrolling down or b) go buy them. (but still scroll down anyway.)

First Book: My Sister's Keeper.
Why I cried: shock (it was a huge twist--there was no way to see it coming), loss (I felt like I knew the character personally), sympathy for the grieving, broken family, and whiplash (There is no pause for the death, but instead the story actually picks up speed and you feel like you've been beaten mercilessly on the ground then told to get up and run a marathon.)

Second Book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows
Lot's of people die in this book -even Harry himself- but I'm going to try to focus on one death. Or two. The beloved Fred Weasley and the despised Severus Snape.
Why I cried: (Fred) he was funny, he died laughing, it was unexpected, he had a large family to mourn for him, it broke the Fred and George duo in half, Percy's mangled cry. (Snape) I didn't think he'd turn out good after all, he was in love, he suffered in his final moments, he had a sad childhood, shock.

Third Book: Beautiful Creatures
Why I cried: I thought two people had died at first, those two people make up that girl's entire world, her denial, refusal to let go, sorrow, shock.

Fourth Book: Forever
Okay, so the death scene I teared up at turned out to not actually be a death scene, but it was so convincing.
Why I cried: he sacrificed himself--and he was kind of a selfish character, he was only one of many,



Now, after rereading all of these death scenes, I've compiled a short list of ways to make a person cry over a figment of someone's imagination.

God, I'm depressed now.

The rules of death:

1. Shock
You can't let on to your reader that the end is near. Make it a slap in the face. A bucket of cold water dumped on their heads in the middle of a deep dream. Also, let the reader feel all of the unfinished business that character had.
2. Setting
You have to subtly play with the mood and setting. It has to happen in the midst of an already very dark, very grim situation that has your reader on edge.
3. Reaction The character's loved ones when they learn the news. The person who finds the body. The people who see the family mourning. Your own reaction. This is an emotionally scarring time for everyone involved--dwell on that. Take advantage of your reader's shock. Be evil for the sake of writing a good scene.
4. Slight Detachment
That, "I wish I could have known him/her/them better" feeling. This is kind of more from personal experience rather than reading. Once upon a time, I had a close friend. She missed school for a couple days in a row and wouldn't return my calls. I found out through a mutual friend that her brother had died. I didn't know her brother very well--I don't think I'd ever even spoken more than a few words to him (he wasn't at her house much when I was there) but as I walked past my classroom and toward the counselor's office, I was sobbing. (This is also a part of shock.)
5. Insignificance
The character's death isn't important to the plot. That is to say, the character has to die for no good reason and the characters cannot have time to stop and mourn--they have to continue to fight evil. Life goes on, and death is merely a flicker of a pause in the Grand Plan.

And there you have it. There are other ways to go about writing a good death scene, too. Please feel free to share any secrets you have for one.
Here are some other guidelines I found:
http://blog.liviablackburne.com/2011/08/how-to-make-your-reader-cry-anatomy-of.html
http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=166151
http://www.writerlylife.com/2010/01/how-to-write-a-death-scene/
http://writerunboxed.com/2009/05/25/how-to-make-readers-cry-in-six-steps/
http://nairamofsherwood.blogspot.com/2011/08/making-reader-cry-over-characters-death_31.html
My chest aches. Wasn't this just a jolly way to start off my blog? Talking about death. How dark. This will not be that kind of blog all the time. I promise. Now excuse me while I go prepare myself a bowl of ice cream. For IT!

TTFN. (Tah-tah-for-now)

P.S. If you're still emotionally stumped in your novel, rereading old death scenes (or watching them on TV) is a good way to dig up buried feelings.